I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize