I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
