I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
