idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
