Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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