I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
