Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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