I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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