We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
