Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
