I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
