She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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