Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
You ate ashes out of my bong
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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