I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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