either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
