Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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