Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
