we're chasing vodka with high fives
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
