Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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