READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
