my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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