4 words: hood of his car
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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