I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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