I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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