He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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