her vagine was all disorganized.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
