***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
