whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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