your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
vagina is talking i cant
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
