Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
