Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize