weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
