i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
