ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Of course I have a pirate flag
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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