Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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