you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Randomize
