walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I wish you could order shots online.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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