I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
