Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
