I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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