I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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