Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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