we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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