Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
