let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
