Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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