So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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