mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
