He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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