Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
