what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
