what day is it and did you see me today?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
