What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
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