Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
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