All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
