To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Are we still banned from the library?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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