Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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