2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
