of course. lets lasso hookers.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
