I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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