i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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