I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
