So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
