What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
