what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
did i walk over a car last night?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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