It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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