the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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